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Mallet on bike in the crease AKA mallet on bike on ball

You know that moment when the ball is about to roll right into the goal real slow, and then then goalie backs up on top of it?

It's always in that moment where the opposite team is just smanging away at the ball, without regard to the fact that they're also whacking your bike with their mallet.

I realize that this is a crucial point in the game and that any ball next to the goal hole is panic inducing for all involved, but maybe we should say something about the static ninja-ball?

Maybe something like:

If the ball should become trapped under the wheel of a goalie, the "like-contact" rules still apply, and any point scored by contact of an opponent's mallet to the goalie's bike shall result in a non-goal turnover to the scored-upon team.

I dunno, am I just making shit up here? This is a thing that happens, right?!

I wouldn't say it's particularly common and the referee is going to struggle to see what's happening in any great detail. A cluster-fuck near the goal is just that, you cross your fingers and hope things go your way!

If you over hassle the goalie – or tomahawk their bike – then you might (in extreme circumstances) have your goal disallowed. Ali's disallowed goal in Geneva when he was hopping near the keeper springs to mind.

Personally I'd have a hard time calling any incidental mallet-to-bike contact if the keeper has rolled on top of the ball (or similar).

I don't think you need to create an additional rule for this situation as it's all covered already: trapping the ball can be a game delay penalty and mallet-to-bike is not permitted.

Yeah maybe "a new rule" isn't exactly what should be going on here, but I've definitely been scored on while getting my wheel cracked over and over. I don't know that this contact is exactly "incidental."

I guess what I'm getting at is there should be an acceptable way to clean up this situation so it's easy to call and doesn't involve beating the shit out of someones wheel.

I guess this is another good reason for a crease. If a ball is stuck under a wheel in the crease, consider it blocked.

As far as a delay of game goes, it's not like anyone calls a delay of game when someone gets a ball stuck in their spokes, I don't think this is any different. No one is sitting on top of a ball to purposefully delay the game, they're blocking the shot while people deliver death blows to their nipples.

EDIT: yeah, I'm leaving that last sentence in, actually. Have fun!

If you aren't sinning, Jesus died for nothing.

Well, with a ball stuck in spokes, we call a reset, with the ball going to the opposite team from the one it got stuck in. At least in the UK we do.

So that's effectively a delay of game rule. You have a bike that lets it get stuck, you lose the ball. Seems fair.

Regarding a "static ninja", I'm not sure where it is on the court, is even that relevant, I've seen hacking away at the wheel all over the court, just the player is more likely to stay stationary, when in the crease.

I can see the similarities to freezing the puck in hockey. But of course we don't have faceoffs, so we can't handle it the same way.

In addition, it's pretty easy to fuck with the goalie, in the legal way, so that they end up moving off the ball.

So I'd say, largely leave it as it is:

1) If a player hacks the wheel of the static ninja-ed player, then it's a turnover against them.
2) Add a rule, so that if a player static ninjas the ball for a certain amount of time, in an attempt to protect it, and stop play, then it's a them.

Also, slightly off topic, make the goal ref able to call shit in the goal area, as they are right next to it.

You could always just roll out of goal if you're worried about your bike.

the dark end (aka Bobb Todd, Marzipan, B.R. Fuck Face)

The flip-side to your experience / frustrations is that the keeper needs to get better at clearing the ball.

(I used the term 'incidental' as the attackers are usually trying to play the ball, not the wheels of the keeper.)

I believe when companies (Fixcraft, Magic, etc) offer balls that go to a higher durometer and suit the weather better, the solution will present itself when the ball becomes too strong to lodge. It is already very difficult to ride over the Fixcraft ball from 2012 without having the tire slip off the side of it (and then... ninja ball) and the new high durometer balls look to be interesting.